10 Ways I Improve My Relationship with Myself

Here are 10 ways I improve my relationship with myself. I understand everyone is different and what works for me may not work for the next person, but I still want to share my personal experience to hopefully inspire someone with at least one of the ways I’ve work to improve my relationship with myself.

Effectively Communicate My Feelings

This was huge for me! I’ve never been that shy when it comes to expressing how I feel, but it was always a challenge for me to express myself effectively. I would get frustrated and raise my voice or abruptly end the conversation when I felt things weren’t going my way. Obviously, this is toxic and it was about time I changed my behavior and came up with a way to effectively communicate my feelings with the people that I love.

What was hard for me to grasp at first was that I didn’t need to express myself at the time specific feelings surfaced. Now, I take time to calm down, reflect on the situation, and think about how I can express myself in a way that will allow the person I’m talking to, to interpret what I’m saying in the way I want to get the message across. This also allows them to give me the best advice if that’s what I need/want. There’s more that goes into it, but this is the gist of it all!

Positive Affirmations

I became my own hype man! Seriously. I love telling myself how awesome I am, that I will reach my goals, and more! I acknowledge I have flaws, but who doesn’t? That doesn’t mean I should solely focus on those flaws – it just means I have more room to grow and that journey excites me! There were times I would say something nice about myself but didn’t believe it just yet, and I said it enough to where I started to finally believe those positive things about myself. Below are a few positive affirmations that helped me:

  • I’m a bad a** and I can do anything I set my mind to
  • I cannot control this and it will work out how it’s supposed to work out
  • I love who I am and I love who I’m becoming
  • I was presented with an opportunity for growth

Me Time

Oooh girl! I never use to actively set aside time for myself, and I always wanted to be around people and stay social. Eventually, I saw that spending all my time with other people really started to drain me and I wasn’t where I wanted to be emotionally. Me time allows me to reflect and do the little things that make me happy. Some of the stuff I like to do includes journalling, drawing, and pampering myself.

Pamper Myself

It’s so important for me to pamper myself because I feel more put together when my nails and brows are done! It’s just such a good feeling. Since quarantine, I’ve really put more time into facemasks and candle lit netflix binges (LOL). I also like the occasional online shopping and just seeing whats out there – I love looking at new fashion trends!

Put Energy into What Makes Me Happy

This is all encompassing! Anything that makes me happy, I do it! If I wanna dress up cute and do my makeup when I have nowhere to go, I do it. If I wanna set time aside for myself and pamper myself, I do it! I used to do things because people wanted me to, and I didn’t know how to say no or suggest we do something else. Now, forget about it! If I don’t wanna do something – I’m not doing it and me not wanting to do it is reason enough! This isn’t selfish, this is putting yourself first sometimes!

Know My Boundaries and Set Those Boundaries with Others

Knowing and understanding my boundaries is so important, but setting those boundaries with others is even more important. I feel like I have to add this: how someone responds to your boundaries is not your problem! If someone loves and respects me, they will respect my boundaries. Boundaries are also a great way to show myself that I respect myself – hope that makes sense! When I was unsure of what my boundaries were, I started by thinking of the things I didn’t like to do or things that made me feel uncomfortable, and understanding why!

Feel What I Feel

I’ve spent too much time suppressing my emotions in the past because I simply didn’t think they were valid or I just didn’t want to show emotion. At one point, I thought showing raw emotion was a sign of weakness. This is completely inaccurate – acknowledging my emotions and allowing myself to feel what I feel is more noble than suppressing emotions. The best thing I could do was cry if I needed to cry and then reflect on my emotions, why I felt that way, and then working to make it better if I can.

Understanding I’m Just Human

We all make mistakes! We’re just human! I try to tell myself this all the time! I’ve made minor mistakes at work and I would beat myself up for it because I didn’t feel dependable, but then I realized a lot of people I worked with would make mistakes here and there but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t manage or recover from. Mistakes are how we learn and it’s just part of the growth process. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime but I truly believe those exact mistakes helped me become the person I am today.

Getting Myself into a Routine

When I don’t have some sort of routine, I feel lost. I can’t even stay on vacation for too long because I start to miss my routine – is that normal? Anyway…I’m huge on planning my days and setting a routine because it helps me get stuff done. Writing my routine in a planner is a way to help me keep track of my daily goals and the unfun stuff that just needs to get done – crossing it off after it’s done makes me SO happy. Let’s not overlook the little victories! I write down little victories in my planner all the time. Stuff like; a mile walk in the neighborhood, take time to read, drink 60oz of water. Routines for the win!

I hope you enjoyed these few ways I work to improve my relationship with myself! Just like any relationship, it takes continuous work and whole lot of love to keep it strong. Your relationship with yourself is the most important. This is also a reflection of what your relationships are like with other people. I hope my experience inspires you in some way. If you want me to go into depth about a specific subject, let me know! 🙂

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